Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
