I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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