He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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