Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
