I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
