i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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