The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
