you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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