I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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