Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
