The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I need a burrito and a hug.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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