He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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