Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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