If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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