I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
