what day is it and did you see me today?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm like, not good at living.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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