Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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