its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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