people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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