is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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