No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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