Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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