He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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