So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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