Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
