I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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