i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
