i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
