her vagine was all disorganized.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
