Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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