I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
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Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
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There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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