clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
