3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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