he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
