No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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