I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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