Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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