look no pants
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
