Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
