You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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