Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
