never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
