I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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