I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You can't special order awesome
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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