dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
