Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
