i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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