did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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