kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
