Me too!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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