the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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