how can u be prego again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
