she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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