No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
