hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
