My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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