I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
