....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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