she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
