then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
