yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
