I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
