I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
