there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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