I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
